#4 Mittens

12 Dec

Mittens are better than Radiohead

Winter’s crap.

There’s snow and slush and that cover of Kid A and that kooky horn section in “The National Anthem” all conspiring to bring the chills. And let’s face it, no amount of immaculate sonic tinkering from Ed O’Brien is going to keep you warm inside when your nose is running because it’s -4 and your hands are jammed deep into your pockets because the weatherman blew it and you totally underdressed.

I’ll tell you what will though — mittens . It could be fancy sealskin ones, knitted ones, cutesy ones with skulls on them, those ones that are like Transformers that also convert into gloves… it doesn’t matter. Humming along to “I Will” won’t provide the same melty relief as those glorious hand sacks when Mother Nature is blowing her bitch cold all over your freezing digits .

You’ll put them on and be like, “Oh look, my hands are warm. Thanks mittens, you are totally better than Radiohead.”

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